Lost Worlds

Fat: The New Smoking (Cont'd)

The new NICE "guidelines" on obesity in the UK - download them here or read a -- hahahaha -- pre- digested version just confirm that being fat is the new smoking. Worse than smoking, even.

Well of course anyone can give up smoking if they have the willpower and are ostracised and nagged and made to feel repugnant so I suggest we probably should do the same to fat people. Don't let them be fat on aeroplanes or buses. Have No Fatties sections in restaurants and No Sweating sections on public transport and Thank You For Not Wheezing And Puffing signs everywhere. Make it legal for employers to specify No fat people need apply. Make them stand outside in the rain if they want to be fat at work.

But of course they wouldn't mind being outside in the cold and rain. Being fat keeps you warm.

Technorati Tags: culture, health, Medicine, Nanny State

Sorry, But You Are So Stupid You Need It To Rhyme

I bought some miso. It is perfectly decent miso. You squeeze it out of the little plastic packet (which is itself satisfying) and add hot water and lo!, miso, and LO!, bits of seaweed.

But they can't just sell miso. No; they need a little rhyme. Here you go:

Sushi made Japan-easy™.

Is the terrible thing

(a) That they think a little rhyme will make us think "Gosh, I'll buy that stuff, which I wouldn't have otherwise"? Or
(b) That the little rhyme itself is so inane? Or
(c) Grown-up people with families and hopes and lives actually sat round thinking it up? Or
(d) They were prepared to take the money? Or
(e) Some asshole actually trademarked the little rhyme, filling in all those forms and putting a suit on and being important? Or
(f) The trade mark people didn't say "Oh for heaven's sake grow up and fuck off."?

Or is the terrible thing, as usual, that that's what they think we are like?

The Power of the Word

Burger King is having to redesign its ice-cream lids because Rashad Aktar, 27, claimed the image reminded him of the word "Allah" in Arabic script and threatened a personal jihad. This will presumably be the same Allah who hides his name in aubergines, tomatoes, eggs, beans, potatoes, watermelons and an albino tiger fish.

Mr Aktar is described as a "business development manager". I wouldn't really want him developing mine, though I do wonder how he came to be in the — non-halal — Burger King in the first place.

Technorati Tags: culture, society, religion