December 13, 2006

Fat: The New Smoking (Cont'd)

The new NICE "guidelines" on obesity in the UK - download them here or read a -- hahahaha -- pre- digested version just confirm that being fat is the new smoking. Worse than smoking, even.

Well of course anyone can give up smoking if they have the willpower and are ostracised and nagged and made to feel repugnant so I suggest we probably should do the same to fat people. Don't let them be fat on aeroplanes or buses. Have No Fatties sections in restaurants and No Sweating sections on public transport and Thank You For Not Wheezing And Puffing signs everywhere. Make it legal for employers to specify No fat people need apply. Make them stand outside in the rain if they want to be fat at work.

But of course they wouldn't mind being outside in the cold and rain. Being fat keeps you warm.

Technorati Tags: , , ,

December 11, 2006

Drug Company Behaves Reasonably Well, Considering, But They Can Afford To

Won't remind anyone of the story of the widow's mite because I wouldn't want to detract from Bristol-Myers Squibb's donation to the World Aids Fund, which you can increase by lighting a candle. Beautifully-designed page, too; sometimes (but only sometimes) Flash is worth using. (Thanks to my good friend the drummer Timothy Bye -- move your ass, Gadd -- for pointing it out to me.)

Technorati Tags: , ,

December 05, 2006

They Just Don't Learn, Do They?

Another perpetual-motion scam (with the usual it's-not-quite-perpetual-motion scam provisos in its corporatist huffing) has demanded that all websites remove all references to it.

Oh men of Nikkogen, don't you realise that that sort of blowhard nonsense is only going to make more of us plaster references to Nikkogen, together with possibly (though probably not quite) unrelated phrases such as "pull the other one" and "bollocks, if you ask me", all over blogs which wouldn't have mentioned Nikkogen (although we might well have mentioned other annoyances, entirely unrelated to Nikkogen, such as people who think we're idiots, and grandstanding assholes who think that by sending out stroppy letters they'll get us to do exactly what they want.

Doesn't work any more, Guys At Nikkogen. The estimable Tim Worstall explains why. But if you want to read the stuff for yourself -- the horror! the horror! -- have a look at what seems a little slippery, in the way that snake oil is slippery: a slipperiness which is explained at the excellent Ministry of Truth.

December 03, 2006

The War On... What Was It Again?

Miles Davis would be in prison in the USA today; as a felon, he would be stripped of his right to vote; when released, he would be unable to get a student loan. His driving licence would be revoked and he could not travel to work.

So would Samuel Johnson, Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, William Gladstone, John Keats,Jimi Hendrix, William Wilberforce, Dorothy Wordsworth, W C Fields, Elvis, Sarah Bernhardt, Sigmund Freud, Florence Nightingale, Johnny Cash, Edith Piaf, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Ray Charles, Wilkie Collins, Janis Joplin, Bella Lugosi, Sir Walter Scott, Marvin Gaye, Robert Louis Stevenson, Anthony Eden, Branwell Bronte, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Charlie Parker, Chet Baker, Lenny Bruce, Jean Cocteau and Tim Buckley.

Quite right too. They were all drug users. And the state must punish drug users. Ideally, the state must mostly punish black drug users, and the USA is doing well at that. As are we. But white drug users will do at a pinch.

Or you could look at it this way: if you are a black woman in America and you have a son, there is a one in three chance that your son will end up in prison.

Aren't we doing well, with this war on drugs?

Now go and have a look at Law Enforcement Against Prohibition, and ask yourself: What have we learned?

(Nothing. Absolutely nothing.)

Dies Irae, Adonai Elohenu al-Hamdalillah

The Sunday Times reports that

Thousands of dying patients are being denied the last rites because hospital chaplains are not being given access to their personal records to establish their religion.

Why? The Data Protection Act -- foreseen by Aeschylus in the Oresteia; in which the watchman says "For them as knows, I'll speak. For the rest: my mind's a blank."

April 29, 2006

Bad Corporate Mistakes

Who on earth advises corporations that it's a good idea to try and stifle criticism with heavy-handed lawsuits? And how come an advertising agency – which you'd think would understand about public opinion – like Warren Kremer Paino Advertising can be perfectly sanguine about the consequences of behaving like this?

Gosh, all they had to do was laugh, acknowledge their simple error, and it would all have gone away having given a few people a smile.

Instead, they may have made sure that, for the rest of time, they are branded on Google as bullying clowns.

Perhaps "intense and congenial" WKP President Tom McCartin should bail out fast, drop this anti-free-speech lawsuit, sack his advisers, and spend the money saved on rebranding his company. Truth and lies go halfway round the world at about equal speed now.

Technorati Tags: , ,

January 05, 2006

Ooh Look Ma, Big Brother's Got A New Computer.

Brian Hughes comments on my recent post about privacy:

Do you really think "the Government" has got nothing better to do than keep an eye on boring old farts like us? And how many people d'yer think they'll need to employ for the task?

Privacy? British Lower Middle Class invention circa 1908. Bah!

Fairly near the truth; The Invention of Privacy would be a good book for someone to write. Plenty of cultures don't even have the concept, even in Europe; Turkey, for example.

But it's not "the Government" who will be keeping an eye on us. It's the Government's computers. And that's a very different thing. Even now it can be quite chilling; have a look at this and see if you like it...

Technorati Tags: ,

December 29, 2005

You Can't Even Run, Never Mind Hide

Web 2.0 is all very well but what about Web 1984? We were discussing how long it would be before the whole of Britain reached the number-plate recognition camera tipping point: the moment at which all everybody's movements would be tracked every minute of every day. We all had different timescales, but agreed that it would certainly be by 2015. The wearied cry of the aged springs to the lips: "Thank God I won't be alive to see it." But (probably) I shall be and so will you.

The opposing cry of the terminally smug also leaps to mind: "The innocent have nothing to fear". It's the cry of the idiot through the ages -- idiot, that is, in the ancient Greek sense of one who absents himself from public life. And at its core lies a category mistake: that there is a direct link between "innocence" and "freedom". Not, I would argue, the case. There is a link between certain sorts of guilt and the removal, temporary or permanent, of freedom. But is "innocence" the necessary precondition for freedom? No. The necessary precondition is, as Thomas Jefferson observed, eternal vigilance.

Jefferson's remark may, in our present context, seem cynical. But government -- all government -- is less concerned with preserving our liberties than with extending its powers. Power is what drives individuals to put themselves forward as our rulers. As the late Auberon Waugh wrote, the desire to hold political office should in itself be enough to disqualify a man from holding it. This is not cynicism but experience.

Over the last decade or two, and under various propositions of allegedly unarguable benefit -- reducing road accidents, reducing crime, safeguarding "homeland security", deterring paedophiles, increasing our health, saving money, protecting intellectual property, maximising investor return -- we have allowed our freedoms to be eroded to the point, I suspect, of no return. Facial recognition technology coupled with search engines, data mining, data aggregation, communications interception, numberplate recognition technology, biometric ID cards, mobile phone triangulation, ATM and credit card tracking, just for starters, have led us to the point where cradle-to-grave, 24/7 monitoring of individual private citizens is an achievable reality. The only individuals who can remain outside the system are those who... remain outside the system. The very individuals who, according to the PR, these measures are designed to monitor.

It is the condition of the infant to be subject to continuous surveillance. Web 1984 is the web from a different angle: not the web we travel, bringing with it infinite riches in a little room, but the web as the fly sees it: a monitored reticulation which can trap when it chooses, the fat black spider of Government poised in a corner, calibrating the vibrations and poised to spring.

Privacy is now more endangered than ever before. We need to reconsider what we mean by it. Is privacy a fundamental right, or is it a privilege which may be rescinded incrementally by governments? At the moment we are losing it by default, nor is it from our failure to make ourselves heard, because we are not even shouting.

Technorati Tags: ,

October 09, 2005

Give It To Me, Big Montage

The Independent on Sunday. My journalistic alma mater. October 9th, 2005, page 10. "The lonely minister, the blonde and the honey trap". David Blunkett and a rodent-faced estate agent. You know the story. And there's the photograph of the two of them together, she standing in front of him in a Little Black Dress, circled fist at Blunkett crotch-height as though miming a quick mercy-toss. Ugh.

But wait. She may be in a Little Black Dress, but he is in a suit, overcoat, and scarf. Is he preternaturally sensitive to the cold? Is she warmed by the inner fires of lust? Or greed? Or—for we must think the unthinkable— could the IoS have (I hardly know how to say this) faked the picture?

They faked the picture. Look closely and you can see the tell-tale borders of a piece of incompetent PhotoShopping, done by an intern who knows not of blending, the healing brush or the <feather> setting.

Truth in journalism. A picture is worth a thousand words. Or, in this case, sixteen: "This newspaper is telling a lie and, what's worse, isn't even bothering to tell it convincingly."

Technorati Tags: , , ,

My Photo

January 2008

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31